Life have been rather hectic recently.
Many things have happened or is happening.
So some updates on things i feel like saying.
LOL!
1)
I passed my aikido grading.
Finally got my hakama although i am still figuring how to wear & fold it.
Sensei asked me to train as hard as possible so that i can make it for september's grading.
JIAYOU!!
2)
CSCC BGM is around the corner,
Not sure what's gonna happen,
but hopefully we will all get what we had initally planned out.
Shall think positively and keep my fingers crossed.
3)
Well, i realized i still have the ability to cry.
Not that it should be something i should be proud of.
Maybe i am just too tired.
I know I have people i can turn to,
but somehow, i am afraid of becoming a burden to others.
I am feeling so lost, so small, yet i am struggling to live on.
Sometimes, I really wonder if the struggle is worth it because as time goes by, things are back to the square one.
Again.
Sometimes, you cant push all the blame to me.
There's a reason behind my every action.
It's not that i want to, but it's more like i have to.
That's the only way to protect myself.
In your eyes, i was reminded of that incident where i was almost killed.
I knew it, you hate me and yearn so much to kill me.
In your words, i sense that i am nothing.
I knew it, my existence simply disgusts you.
i wish i had the courage to end it all..