where.do.i.belong

插曲 #317

2012-02-16T00:30:00.001+08:00

突然不知道要从哪里开始。

今天的感觉有点不对，感觉上像是疏远了。不敢牵你的手，但却又不敢不抓着你。这种矛盾，让我不知所措。可能是因为我们之间发生太多的争吵吧，长久下来，我变得胆小了。天天心惊胆战，不知道我们几时又会吵架。和你在一起，我变得小心翼翼，可以说，我开始害怕了。

从爱变成害怕，有点可笑对不对？或许是因为爱，才会害怕 - 害怕失去、害怕心痛、甚至怕你。怕你生气，怕你不开心，怕你发脾气，怕你扔下我，怕你对我大吼，怕你会突然又要离开。你知道吗？我从相信我们能一直走到永远，慢慢变成只要平静度过这个月就好，到知道平静度过这个星期就好，到现在的只要平静度过今天或这顿饭就好。感觉上，这段感情变得有点不正常了。我似乎变成了你的犯人，被你压得有点喘不过气来。

我知道我不应该这样。可是，我却没有办法离开。说我傻，我承认。就连我都开始看不起现在的自己。我想潇洒地离开，可是懦弱的我却办不到。我舍不得，我放不下。总是想着你对我的好，选择忘了你对我的伤害。我真是他妈的白痴！心里的挣扎，又有谁知道？憎恨现在的自己，却又不知道如何摆脱现在的自己。答案明明在前面，可是却办不到，真是哭笑不得。我快要精神崩裂了！我快崩溃了！谁能来救救我呢？我知道哭久了，就会累了，累了就不想了，不想了，就不爱了，心死了，就不痛了。失望多了，就不会再期望或期待什么了。你知道吗？我竟然盼望那一天的到来，那一天的到来意味着我的解脱！

可能现在这种情况对我们都好吧！不每天见面，磨擦和争吵都会减少。可能需要时间适应，可是习惯了，就可以了。依赖减少了，就会开始变得更自立，更坚强，更勇敢了。到时，找回自己以后，什么都不怕了。这不是我一直都想要的吗？对，这是我想要的。所以从今天开始，我下定决心要找回自己的规律、自己的生活。我要找回自己，做回自己，为自己而活。我要证明我是可以独当一面的！

给大家多一点时间和空间吧！我相信时间是最好的证明。我也相信缘分，而缘分是不能强求的。是你的，就是你的，不是你的，就永远不会是你的。

插曲 #316

2012-02-10T15:45:00.000+08:00

Whenever we move forward a little, we will end up walking backwards again.
But yet, we were never be able to return to where we were.

The same drama happening over and over again.
So much that i am sick and tired of them,
Yet, i was never able to let go.

I wish i am able to forget all about you.
I wish i am able to move on

I need a break from all this.

插曲 #315

2012-01-09T23:28:00.002+08:00

the right one is worth the wait.
will u be the right one?

suddenly realized that all u ever think of is yourself.
u are disappointed, u are hurt, u are angry, u are never in the wrong.
so i have to be the one to admit that i was in the wrong even if i was hurt too.
but was i really the one?

call me petty, but is this the way to treat ur girl?
who was the one that let me wait, who was the one that decided not to turn up?
who was the one who decide to put that fucking committee above me?
u slept at 7 in the morning because u were doing yec's stuff.
yet, u were able to wake up on time for yec's event.
but when it comes to me, u overslept.
i waited 40 mins and u thought it was nothing.
i waited the whole morning and u thought it was nothing.
i dun fuck care if u had a headache because u had overslept.
seriously, treating me like dirt all the while?
fuck it. i had enough of the nonsense.

they say both have to give in for the relationship,
but somehow, i dun feel that way.
just because i want to maintain this relationship,
doesnt mean i have to put up with all the shit,
doesnt mean i have to be the only one changing,
losing myself, pride and dignity in the end.

somehow, what yuqi said is true.
if a guy is not willing to change for u when u are dating, he will never change for u.
are u willing to change for me? the answer was no.
will i be able to put up with ur temper and nonsense for the rest of my life?
the answer is no. i will never be able to do so.
so what if there's love? will we be able to live happily ever after?
i seriously doubt so.

yes, u are disappointed, but i am too.
but this time round, i wont be the one giving in again.
i am tired.
so this time round, i will give u the chance to prove how much i mean to u.
it's going to be the biggest gamble.

will i regret? maybe not.
will i be sad & disapointed? maybe yes.
but at the end of the day,
i will be able to find out if u are the right one.
i will be able to find out if i really mean anything to u.
if the answer is no for both, then it will be time to let go.
and i guess, i am ready for it.

i still remember saying that a woman's instinct in dangerously sensitive..
this time, i dun feel anything yet.
but i hope if i do, it will be for the good.

插曲 #314

2011-12-19T12:43:00.000+08:00

Turbulent week.

Humans are contradicting.
When you are busy, you want a break.
When you are having that break, you miss those busy moments.
Idiots.

And yes, i admit, i am one of them.
But now, i have sorted things out.
I guess..

Tight schedule ahead. And it's really frustrating.
Like hello, i am only free from Jan onwards, and it isn't guaranteed.
Cant help but think why i got myself into this.
Stupid me.

Why bother to work like a cow when i am just a student?
I will be slogging my guts out once i graduate, so why slog my guts out now?
Shouldnt i be enjoying the last few years as a student?
Stupid me.

Then humans have this problem about getting emotionally attached.
Esp when people are very nice to u.
So i keep harping that i want to resign, because i forsee another busy quarter ahead
but i have yet to do so because i cant bear to.
Arent i nice? Always worried and considering for other people.
Though it's at the expense of myself
Stupid me.

Another stupid thing i did was to take up hertage trail.
Now i am stuck with it, not knowing how to move on.
I dun want to be too reliant on jeraldin & alan,but i have no other support.
And it's tiring to run things without support, esp when u are a greenhorn.
It's not as though i didnt ask for help,but no one bothers to come forward.
Frustating but what can i do except to say,
Stupid me.

Yearning for a break.
I wanna enjoy life like a tai-tai.
I wanna go high-tea.
I wanna spend some time without worries.
I wanna go on leave.
I want time for myself.

I miss the 3 days at sentosa.
I want another getaway before school starts.

;Suddenly, i miss the times when i would end school,
and train down to pasir ris to meet alan for dinner.
简单的幸福 =)

插曲 #313

2011-12-10T00:12:00.001+08:00

Somehow we cant even get through a peaceful month, cant we?
I guess my expectations were too high afterall.

I am a fool.

插曲 #312

2011-11-28T16:46:00.001+08:00

Into the second week of exams.
Ht9102 tmr and HC260 on thu.
2 more papers to go and it's FREEDOM.

Yes, i know i shouldn't be here,
but i just cant concentrate already.
Guess it's the stress that makes me feel like escaping.
I am kind of in that holiday mood already.

Life havent been a bed of roses recently.
In fact, it has been a bitch.

Everything is everywhere and I cant seem to put everything in order.
Sucks to not have breathing space for myself.
Broke down a few times but i guess i have recovered a little.

Made some decisions and yes, they were hard.
More or less decided to quit my job and take on tuition instead.
Timing would be more flexible and i would have more time to do more stuff.
But still still keeping my fingers crossed.
Tuition has its problems too. Seriously.
But i guess, it's no choice.
U always have to sacrifice something for something.

Glad that i have him around me to support me.
I guess things are pretty fine between us now,
and that's comforting to know.
Hope we will maintain it for awhile. =)

Well, i guess i should go back to reality already.
Wsh me luck because i really need it.

插曲 #311

2011-11-12T00:44:00.001+08:00

插曲 #311

11.11.11

《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》
拉着你去看，想要的只是能找回暧昧时的感觉。
想起那时我们的单纯、幼稚，
想起那段时间的甜蜜、快乐。

刚在一起的我们，要得不多，
可是，得到的却不少。
起码，我们能感受到彼此的重要，能感受到彼此对这份感情的认真与付出。
因为害怕失去彼此，所以一直紧紧抓着不放，努力呵护与维持那刚刚萌芽的感情。

但，人往往都是贪心的。
因为得到了很多，所以要求得更多，架也越吵越多。
不知道为了什么而吵，也不知道有没有解决，
只知道吵了，哭了，和好了，吵了，哭了，和好了。。
感觉就想新传媒的戏，一直重播，一直重播。。

当初的感觉慢慢淡掉了，当初的热情与单纯好像也不在了。
对于彼此之间的认真与付出，我想，也慢慢消失了吧。。
我不知道我们还能在一起的原因是什么，
但感觉上好像不是爱，也不是喜欢，而是一种责任，还是为了那肉体上的安慰？
我不懂，也无法了解，因为你一直选择逃避。

你说，吵完了，就算了，忘了它，别去提了。
你说，心死了，就让它死吧。
你说，抱不住，就别抱吧。
我想，你应该也想说，分手就分手吧。
冷冷的，没有哄，没有想要挽回的意思。
冷冷地刺痛了我的心。

我不知道你是不是累了，不想爱了，不想一起走下去了，
还是，你只是因为害怕失去而选择逃避。
我只知道，你的手没有了当初的温暖，你的拥抱没有了当初的感情。

我好想知道，

如果不把话摊开来说，只选择一直逃避，心结能打得开吗？
我们还能一起一直走到永远吗？
如果你真的能了解我的心，你能知道我现在的感受吗？

暧昧，是最美丽的。。

插曲 #310

2011-11-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

三个字：“你很烦”

三个字：“心碎了”

泪了。累了。

插曲 #309

2011-09-27T16:40:00.003+08:00

Havent been updating for awhile.
Life sucks but still goes on.

I am finally Year 2.
Workload have increased,
and yes,i am struggling as usual.
It's recess week now, and i had planned to use this week to do some catching up.
But somehow, i cant get myself in the mood.
Maybe, i just need to give myself a break.

Aikido grading was sunday.
Number wasnt called, and i am praying hard i got through.
Dun like to feel disappointed, esp when aikido is my life.

Things between me and him have been going on fine.
Yes, we do have our ups and downs,
but which relationship doesnt have them?
What's important is that we grow stronger day by day right?

插曲 #308

2011-07-30T09:08:00.002+08:00

Tuesday was the day my age started with a 2.
Yes, i am officially 20.
And i was warmly welcomed into the elderly club.
Dun even know whether i should be happy or sad.
LOL!

Tuesday was spent with alan and jeraldin.
The both of them were the best "treasure" that i found from PLK YEC,
and not forgetting xianyang of course.
Haha! =)

And i got my Samantha Thavasa Wallet!
Credits to Alan!
=))

I am really happy that he spent the day with me.
Unexpected but still happy nonetheless.
He's not someone i would expect much from,
but somehow,
his little actions are always little surprises to me.
=)

Things are going at a comfortable pace,
and i really hope things will go on this way.
=))

Yesterday was my last day at Dimensions.
I wouldnt say i left the place with a heavy heart,
or with my eyes brimming with tears.
But the times spent there were really fun.
Thank you Eunice, Joanne XiJun and Joes for making it possible.
And Jiao Zi Mian!
But i need to start losing weight already.
HAHA!

Feeling very uncomfortable today cause i didnt get to train yesterday.
Feeling a bit down now.
I wanna TRAIN!!!

插曲 #308

2011-07-24T23:38:00.003+08:00

It has been an eventful week.

Fulfilling i would say.

BGM was yesterday,

And Yes! We Prevailled!

In fact, it was a fight we won hands down.

Damn proud of it can?

Cant help but feel that i have made the right decision.

The start of a new term will be a busy one.

But i guess we are all prepared for it.

; sometimes i really wonder what we really are.

just like how u asked me what it means yesterday.

i didnt give an answer, just like how u didnt suggest an answer.

though i have to admit that part of me feels disappointed,

but i still feel that sometimes, somethings shouldnt be made clear.

i like u, but i cant tell for sure what it is.

so let's just keep things this way ok?

插曲 #307

2011-07-09T00:52:00.004+08:00

Life have been rather hectic recently.

Many things have happened or is happening.

So some updates on things i feel like saying.

LOL!

I passed my aikido grading.

Finally got my hakama although i am still figuring how to wear & fold it.

Sensei asked me to train as hard as possible so that i can make it for september's grading.

JIAYOU!!

CSCC BGM is around the corner,

Not sure what's gonna happen,

but hopefully we will all get what we had initally planned out.

Shall think positively and keep my fingers crossed.

Well, i realized i still have the ability to cry.

Not that it should be something i should be proud of.

Maybe i am just too tired.

I know I have people i can turn to,

but somehow, i am afraid of becoming a burden to others.

I am feeling so lost, so small, yet i am struggling to live on.

Sometimes, I really wonder if the struggle is worth it because as time goes by, things are back to the square one.

Again.

Sometimes, you cant push all the blame to me.

There's a reason behind my every action.

It's not that i want to, but it's more like i have to.

That's the only way to protect myself.

In your eyes, i was reminded of that incident where i was almost killed.

I knew it, you hate me and yearn so much to kill me.

In your words, i sense that i am nothing.

I knew it, my existence simply disgusts you.

i wish i had the courage to end it all..

插曲 #306

2011-06-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

Managed to get a job like finally.
Pay is not fantastic, but well, sustainable.
Shan't dwell so much on it already,
Must learn to be grateful for what i have.

Have been trying to sort some things out recently,
But it's really very tricky, esp when the other party doesnt say anything.
I am not a telepath like professor x for goodness sake.
But i can only say,
Things are not the way it seems to be,and i am not ready for something serious,neither do i want to be not treated seriously.
Contradicting? Confusing?
Yes, i know, but in short,
it just simply means i am enjoying my single life now.
LOL!

And my dad has been getting on my nerves recently.
Like really really irritating me.
And somehow, i was reminded ofthe incident 3 years back.
Like how i was almost killed by a flying chair.
This will be a scar that will live with me forever.

插曲 #305

2011-06-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

I did the craziest thing with the craziest person yesterday!

Uncle alan took me for a ride last night after sending jeraldin and emilie home cause he knew i didnt wanna go home.
And where we went?
We went to NTU!!!

I thought he was just gonna show me the way to drive to school,
but in the end, we ended up exploring the school.
Walked from south spine to north spine, then back from north to south.
Imagine if we were to explore NIE too!
LOL!

It was my first time going back to school during the holidays,
and the first time walking around the school at time.
Shocked to see people actually walking around at night during the holidays.
But uncle alan said it is the norm, esp when u live in hall.

Well, thinking back, i cant believe i did that,
esp when i am damn scared of the school at night.
But with uncle alan that hiongster around,
I guess there will be more of such crazy acts.
Haha!

O, and shucks,
i think i am gaining lots of weight.
DAMN!!
i need to stop eating and start exercising!!

插曲 #304

2011-06-08T22:41:00.005+08:00

Some people are capable at nothing, except at spoiling people's mood.
Like damn it!

FUCK!

edited @ 11:28pm
人，往往在最失意时候看清这个世界。

现实真的太残酷了。
当你以为身边的人还会在你身边时，
他们其实早已离你而去。

到最后，只剩下你一个人默默地挣扎着。
你努力地想从谷底爬出来，认为自己一定能做到。

若幸运女神眷顾，你将能成功爬出谷底，找到自己的春天。
若幸运女神也离你而去，你将会一次又一次地跌回谷底，一直到你放弃为止。

到最后，即使有一天，有人发现了你，并鼓励你继续往上爬，你也只会自暴自弃，
因为你已经对自己失去了信心，你再也不敢相信自己，更无法相信任何人。

或许，这就是现在的我。
一个对自己没有信心，也无法相信自己，更不相信任何人的女孩。
或许，这才是正真的我。
我一直努力地从谷底爬出，原以为自己快要成功了，才发现是老天爷在和我玩捉迷藏。

或许是老天爷知道我累了，想要给我一些呼吸的空间吧。
毕竟，我也藏在面具背后很久了。
不要问我多久，因为我自己也忘了。
我一直告诉自己要坚强，不管发生什么事都不能哭。
我做到了，却在无意间觉得自己已经变成了一个没有感情的人，一个没有喜怒哀乐的人。
我发现自己失去了自我。
因为我一直相信，只有眼泪和悲伤才能为一个人注入生命，让他变得完整，
而我却因为放弃而失去了它们。。

插曲 #304

2011-06-07T23:11:00.002+08:00

Watched Kungfu panda 2 today!
Really enjoyed the movie, except that the threatre was very very cold.
Thanks uncle a for lending me his arms and rubbing my hands to give me warmth.
Greatly appreciated!
=)

Had dinner at NYNY today.
Uncle a ordered a mocha float,
and as usual, his float went into my tummy ^^V
My smoked salmon kiss-a-dear (quesadilla) was lovely!
Enjoyed it a lot except that i would like my cheese to be more melted,
if u get what i mean.
But overall, I have to admit that NYNY serve rather nice food.

Ok, i dunno why i am writing all this,
But I really had a great time today.
=)

插曲 #303

2011-06-02T23:50:00.003+08:00

I am still bored.
So bored that i am hamtam-ing all the jobs i can find.
Just let me get a job! I freaking need a life!

O wells.
At leasst i still have aikido.
Grading is coming! Eeeks!
Sensei say i can go, time for me to go.
It really means a lot, boosted my confidence.
Praying hard that the examiners not in bad mood
=X

Gonna meet darlingg jeraldin for lunch tmr.
So happy, just me and her.
Wahaha!

Ok, before i go on bad-mouthing anyone,
i shall stop writing now.

Hope 老天爷 takes pity on poor me and offers me a good-paying job soon.
I dun mind APPLE if the pay is above 1.2k.
I swear i will get internships next time,
then i wont be hanging around aimlessly like now.
>.<

插曲 #302

2011-05-28T10:28:00.002+08:00

I am still jobless. =(
Still waiting for the call.
It has been a long wait.

Interview yesterday was ok.
Talked a lot about the GE.
But i think i forgot the rules of an interview. *shucks*
Still keeping my fingers crossed.

Not much i want to talk about, or should i say nothing much i can talk about.
Life has been rather stagnant for me.
I dun see joy, neither do i see sadness.
Nothing for me to laugh about, neither is there anything i can cry for.
I am kind of emotionless now.
Maybe it's the training after going through so much.

It's scary at times,but i guess it's better than being emo.
Maybe it's a sign that i have grown stronger.
That sounds more comforting,
Doesn't it?

插曲 #301

2011-05-25T13:01:00.002+08:00

It's has been 2 weeks and i am still stuck here without a job.
Job-hunting is a bitch.
Why is it so hard to get an admin job with a reasonable pay?
老天爷保佑我快点找到工作! Please!!!
Just hope eileen will contact me asap.
=(

Will be going for my scholarship interview on Friday.
I am still preparing the questions.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
I really want to get this scholarship, then i wont have to worry about my school fees anymore.

O well, i guess i should stop whining and pray for the best.
Shall continue doing my questions.

插曲 #300

2011-05-17T23:54:00.003+08:00

插曲 #300

Wow, almost one month have passed since i last blogged.
The big battle has ended,
and yup, i am relieved.
although i dunno when the results will be out.
haha!

Have been kind of busy for the pass few days and it will continue for the next few days.
Met corine and bibi on friday.
Finally got to pool after so long!!!
and i think i have improved. haha!!

Dinner and thor-ed with jeraldin and uncle alan on sat.
And yes, MOF's service never fail to not disappoint me.
Like WTF! Waited till my gastric acted up.
But Thor was a great movie, and i cant wait for the avengers.

Queenway to The Cathay to Bugis on sunday.
But neither my bro nor i could find the shoes we want.
haiz. wonder what happened to all the nice shoes in singapore.
And i wanna get my fur fur boots! so cute!!

Went anne's house for baking yesterday.
Fun and tiring i would say,
but i finally managed to bake cookies successfully!!
:D

Dinner gathering today with the new yec?
food was good and all was fine..
but i feel guilty..esp after what he said. :x
Haiz.. promise not to be so violent next time.
So that he wont get blue blacks everywhere. :x

SLEEPOVER TOMORROW AT RWS HOTEL MICHAEL TOMORROW AND THURSDAY!
Can't wait!
and not forgoetting NYEDC drama night on sat with xianyang, jeraldin and uncle alan.
LOL! gonna meet alan and jeraldin like 3 times this week?
Haha! But they rock my life.
really, they do.
=)

LOL! i think i am talking rubbish already.
under the influence of medication....

插曲 #299

2011-04-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

Supper with the 3 of them yesterday was superb.
Impromptu i would say, but was damn glad that they were so on.
Went xinwang @ Kovan and guess what,
I only reached home at 5 in the morning.
HAHA.

I am really glad i mustered the courage to jio them out yesterday.
I love listening to them talk cause somehow it's like a life lesson.
You tend to grow up everytime because u learn to see thing from a different perspective.
The weakest among them, but glad they didnt despise me but in fact guided me along.
Really owe them a lot a lot.

I guess the decision has been made,
and i am glad i will have them around again.
Yes, i do have some worries..
But i beleive i will overcome them one by one.

This is a battle that i have to fight,
but let's just enjoy what i have now.

Meanwhile, i will beconcentrating on fighting another big big battle..
=X

插曲 #298

2011-04-12T16:41:00.002+08:00

Time just seem to zoom by when u get older..

Finals are gonna be here in 3 weeks!
And i still have 2 presetation and 1 report to go,
which i obviously havent started on.

The bug has caught me again. In april.
I have been sick for a week now, but the stage of recvoering seems so slow.
Just like it has always been.

Been thinking a lot recently.
Life, studies, friendship, bonds..
But has life been satisfying so far?
Yes, i would say. Maybe with just some tiny regrets here and there.
But hey, no one's life is perfect right?

I am just taking things one step at a time.
Sometimes, i wish i had the ability to change people's mind.
The term is gonna end soon, but i hope our friendship doesnt..

插曲 #297

2011-03-16T23:51:00.001+08:00

Recess week!
But half of it gone already.
=(

Accomplishments??
NONE!
=(

插曲 #296

2011-03-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

i feel so stressed up now.
so stressed that i am suffering from insonmia.
i cant seem to get the things out of my mind!

reports and presentations are haunting me.
i admit i do gt a sense of satisfaction when i 'conquer' them,
but the process really isnt easy.
imagine this:
it's a wednesday.
uhave a presentation on friday, slides are not ready and the reference materials are confusing
then a test, a report and an assignemnt due next wednesday.
how i wish i am like 孙悟空！

and not forgetting tuition.
taking up so much of my time,
but yet my efforts were fruitless.
in the end, i get all the blame.
i am really tired of this life.
good money, but mind draining.

i feel like i am a fool, carrying as many burden as i can, which are killing me.c
all me a weakling, but it's just too much for me.
i give up.

人，到底为了什么而加快脚步。
是为了加快脚步而加快脚步吗？
还是因为害怕落后？
我只知道，我们都在过程中迷失了自己。

插曲 #295

2011-02-09T23:33:00.003+08:00

Green Hornet was AWESOME!!!
Jay Chou rocks ttm!!!!
I love Jay Chou!!!!

=D

插曲 #294

2011-01-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

UE/GRPE allocation results released today.
Got ht101! YAY! =)

Last day of work at TBH today.
Very no 'government' cause the 'government' all went for strategic planning.
Haha! The PCPs are really nice people.
=)

But there's this idiot who had to spoil my mood today.
Just come after me if u have a problem with me.
Why do u have to shoot my YEC?
In the first place, we are at difference GRC.
I have totally no idea what ur YEC does and neither do u.
So what makes u think u can say that PLK sucks?
At least we completed a 250 person event right?
Bet u cant cause u said it was over-ambitious.
U really dunno what u are talking about and have totally no idea who u are talking about.
So stop being an idiot!
DAMN IT!

插曲 #293

2011-01-18T23:04:00.002+08:00

Results were released today.
I passed but argh,
Should have s/u-ed TCM cause it freaking pulled down my cpga.
Freaking sad now. =(
But heng i never da bao.
And nvm! No use crying over spilled milk!
I promise to 发奋图强 next sem!

Jeraldin Leo my darlingggg, Alan Lee my honeyyy, Cai Xianyang & David Chee!
Although it has only been 2 days,
I am missing u guys already!!!!
I really wanna give all of u a big big hug!!!

插曲 #292

2011-01-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

City Of Sharing 2011 - A Success!
Jeraldin Leo my darlingg, Alan Lee my honeyy, Cai Xianyang & David Chee!
It was great to have worked with u guys,
and it was super duper wuper nice working with u guys!
U guys rock! rock! rock!
& u guys are loved! loved! loved! ♥

插曲 #291

2011-01-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

haiz.

插曲 #290

2010-12-29T23:42:00.002+08:00

i just need that little bit of courage to fulfil what i always wanted to do,
and to fulfil the greatest wish of others.

the day is nearing..

; the plan to run away.

插曲 #289

2010-12-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

I know i shouldnt be here,
but i just cant help but come.
It's my little space afterall.

Finished 2 papers.
French and TCM.
French was Demoralizing!
And well, i cant complain about TCM.
Afterall, i wasnt a diligent student who attended lectures and put in effort to study.
And yes, i am regretting.
But i am still not changing because i cant seem to start studying.
Maybe it's the eight month break that turn my brain rusty.

GPA this sem will certainly be disastrous.
But nvm, i promise to work hard next sem.
I wont kill myself with 6 mods!
And i promise to be a diligent student!

I DREAM TO GRADUATE WITH FIRST CLASS HONOURS
BUT I WANNA GRADUATE WITH AT LEAST A SECOND UPPER!!!

O, but to digress a little,
i am gaining the weight i have lost!
DAMN! In fact i am gaining more than i lost!
That's what happen when mum's not at home.
U tend to pig out with the other 2 guys.

But guess what, i am finally gonna enrol for akido lessons!
YAY =))
I hope i will succeed in doing so this time round!

插曲 #288

2010-12-09T23:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it so tiring to deal with everything at one go..
i need the care,concern and support,
which i am not feeling at all.

I dunno what's wrong with me.
Many things are going through my mind,
but i just cant seem to throw them aside.
Most importantly, finals are around the corner,
and i cant seem to concentrate at all.

I need a break,
i really do need a break.
Just myself. No one else.

插曲 #287

2010-12-06T23:37:00.002+08:00

Actually, i dun have much things to update,
but since i cant get to sleep cause i woke up late,
i decided that i should fill up some space here.

Finals are around the corner and i am not studying yet.
Mainly because i am procrastinating?
I dunno why but i just dun feel motivated.
I am doomed! Haiz.

And i got myself a holiday job already.
I will be going back to the sameplace i had worked for 8 months.
Can u believe i will be spending 9 out 12 months at TBH?!
It's like WOW!

Lastly, i think the yec plays an important role in my life.
Though it's a love-hate relationship cause i always get suan-ed.
But i still find joy and laughter there.
LOL! Sounds a little 犯贱.

Ok, i know i am being very random..
But o well...

插曲 #286

2010-11-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!
=)))

but 真的是乐极生悲。。

There are many things going on in my life right now.
I suddenly have this feeling that i am all alone.
No one seems to understand me at all..
I am struggling alone.
The feeling of loneliness sucks,
But i am trying to come to terms with it.
Maybe i should learn get used to it in the shortest time possible.

I suddenly feel that relationships between humans are really fragile.
It's like bubbles..
Disappearing as time goes by..

Exams are coming real soon,
and i still have a 2000 words report which i havent started at all.
It's due on monday btw..
=(

插曲 #285

2010-11-01T23:33:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i am just too lazy to blog since no one is reading it anyway,
and my life is pretty much the same everyday.
but still, i am blogging because i feel the need to blog.
contradicting i know.

Upcoming events for the next week weeks.
Assignment, assignment, assignment, assignment and more assignments.
not forgetting presentation and CA2.

O well..just an update for the past week.
Recess was spent procrastinating and yes, i am regretting it very much.
Met up quite a few people and i am damn happy cause i missed them so much!
Actually the few people were actually meifang,huiying and yuqi.
LOL!

Cant believe this is the second week after the recess break.
Time really speeds by when u grow older.
Soon, my age will start with a digit 2!
O man, i really dun dare to imagine what will happen after that..

Opps, looks like i have digressed,
but i guess its the norm as u grow older and forgetful.
Realized the need for time management,
but i am someone who finds it tough to stick to timetables.
Awww, but i guess, i will be able to figure out a solution somehow..

Last but not least,
there is a new addition to the family!
kaka is thy name!
=)))))))))))))))))))
and i realized i suck at arcade games.
LOL!

插曲 #284

2010-10-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

300 posts! WOOTS~
Recess is here! YAY~

and i am still procrastinating even though i have:
1) an assignment due 2 weeks from now which i just realized
2) a test on friday which i know nuts about.
3) another test next wed that i knows nuts about too.
4) and mintues which is incomplete.

I choose to blame it on the horrible weather,
and the renovations going on in my neighbour's house.
Drilling the whole day from 8-7.
Almost 12 hours!

Went Bobby's @ CHIMJES with corine and bibi on sat.
Ordered a Blue Lagoon.
Love the colour and the taste,
but i have no idea why i went red!
it was nice chill-laxing with the girls, even though i wished i had more money.
O, in case u all didnt know, my face is this -- $_$
HAHA!

Zoo-ed on sunday.
The weather was humid. Eeks!
Not as fun as expected, but i liked the kids playland.
Wished i brought an extra set of clothings,
and not forgetting the merry-go-round (forgot the proper name)
I wanna go on a merry-go-round someday!
and i cant believe there isnt a decent one in Singapore
BOO-HOO =(

Enjoyed the life of a tai-tai on Mon.
Nah, not really.
Wanted to study with anne, but ended up enjoying tarts & tea.
Hehe, and there goes my mood to study.
But it was a great day out!
=D

tarts, dim sum, hgh tea & life of a tai-tai!
i wish i wish i wish i wish upon a star that this wish will come true.
LOL!

插曲 #283

2010-10-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

I've got an assignment to hand up on monday,
but i have totally no idea what to write!
Argh! i hate expository!!!

Ok, i declare my mind is blocked and stucked!!
Damn it.

插曲 #282

2010-09-29T00:21:00.003+08:00

I dunno why i am spending time blogging when i have so much things up my neck.
But i just need a place to rant.
MY world is collapsing!!!
=(

Time is certainly not enough for me.
i find myself waking up early in the morning for lessons without absorbing anything at all!
then i find myself struggling with homework, meetings, driving lessons, TUITION!
TUITION is taking up a bulk of my time and i cant wait for all of them to finish their exams so that i can drop them all!
I really didnt know why i suddenly have so many commitments and the worse thing is,
when you are needed, all of them needs you together, and you totally have no space to even breathe!
but when u are free, non of them needs you at all and u feel like u are rotting!
=(

Then, i have to struggle with my printing of notes!
i really hate printing notes myself cause it takes up so much of my time!
And things aren't better when slides are uploaded in format.
The slides just go hay-wired when printed and it takesfroever to get it right!
LIKE ARGH!
and trust me, eadventure is the worst e-learning portal you can ever find!
=(

O! Did i mention the amount of research and readings that we have to do?
IT's like WTF! and i am really lagging behind!!!!!
Readings not done.
Research not done.
I am lagging behind in french.
I cant seem to remember the grammar, vocab and pronouciation!
I have also skipped too many TCM lectures that i am lost!
I dun even know what's going to happen during the exams!
It's as good as telling myself that i am so gonna flunk this semester!
And mid-term is coming soon!
and my hc201 test is during the recess week which is in 2-3 weeks time!!
=(

As for driving, my test is on 26 nov,
and guess what,
i have not learnt parking,i have not entered circuit,
and i dun even know what my instructor is trying to say or do!
sometimes i just wanna scream at him to ask him to stop demoralizing me!
and the best thing is,
he's on leave frm 1-10 nov!
I am so dead........how can i ever be prepared??!!
=((

GOSH! I just feel so stressed!
I wanna stop procrastinating and start studying,
but i seem to have no time!
I feel so stupid right now..
and I really wish i can just catch up with everything soon...
=((((

With so many 'I's in this post,
it's not unjustified to say that i got myself into all this shit,,,
=(((((((((

i need a miracle right now!

插曲 #281

2010-09-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

Uni life certainly isnt a bed of roses.
Just 2 weeks and i am struggling to keep afloat.
I am lagging behind and i cant seem to catch up.
10 months of not studying is not helpful.
& i regret taking french!!!!!

插曲 #280

2010-09-01T23:20:00.002+08:00

Finally, i got to experience the thing i always read in 小说。
大学抢科！要抢的，都抢到了。真是幸运。
还好我有军师指点，还要谢谢佛祖和菩萨保佑，所以才会那么顺利的。
Thanks LAOMA! =)

Have to reach school at 930 tmr.
Have to reach mrt station at 745 to meet hk at boon lay mrt at 845.
And..i dunno my way around in school!
I can imagine the days with 830 lessons.

I want my sleep.
& i will miss my bed...

插曲 #279

2010-08-30T14:49:00.004+08:00

Hmmm..where should i start from?

Went for corine's bday party on friday night.
& i am so glad i went.
Thanks bibi for persuading me!
I realized i missed corine a lot. But, it's ok..
Cause i am meeting her (& maybe bibi and the girls? i dunno) for dinner tomorrow night!
Love her Loads!

Went straight to work on sat morning,
but i really buay tahan cause my eyelids were so heavy!
Luckily i have a good boss who empathized with me..
So i get to go home to replenish my sleep.
O..but i missed out on Caryn's farewell lunch.
Hope she enjoys her uni days in TAIWAN!
*SO envious of her *

Sunday was supposed to be orientation day.
Tell me who has orientation on sundays?
=.=
But i missed everything in the morning cause i happily slept till 1130.
Erphs! =X

And today is the day i have waitied for so long...
But it's not our turn till 7pm!
So i am keeping my figners crossed,
and praying that i can ge tthe electives i want.

And and i feel so happy that i got to eat maggie mee.
and i wanna cut my hair!

Ok. I confess.
I have forgotten how to blog,
that's why the whole post is in a mess.
=X

插曲 #278

2010-08-26T23:26:00.002+08:00

Cant believe my 2 weeks of nua-ing at home is gonna be over soon!
SAD =(

So not looking forward to uni life.
I dun like changes.
They scare me, esp after what i have been through.
But what can i do right?
Haiz.

My timetable is out,
and heng it is not so KNS.
Kind of acceptable, hopefully it will last this way.

插曲 #277

2010-08-14T09:09:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the last day of work at TBH.
It was heavyhearted,
at least for me and Eunice, it was.
Can't believe we have spent 8 months together!
Me will miss sharing 鱼片面 with Eunice.
=(

Thanks all for the well wishes and presents!
Hopefully i will have a chance to go back again.

插曲 #276

2010-06-05T11:07:00.003+08:00

Was reading through my past entries,
and i cant help but think that i was really childish.
Not that i aren't now,
but at least i have grown up.
(acting cute gives me the shivers~)

This might spark off some controversies though,
cause my IQ is said to have lowered.
LOL!

People change,
So do i.
Changing for the better i hope.

MY blog is turning 2 on 16 June,
and 熊猫人 is seriously disappointing.

插曲 #275

2010-05-30T19:36:00.005+08:00

Back for some decent blogging.
Life is still as boring as ever.
Imagine leading a routined life.
But passing btt is gonna spice up my life cause i am gonna start driving lessons!
WOOHOO~

Taiwan trip is cancelled,
and i cant get tickets to jay chou's concert.
Saddening right?
And i didnt know he released his new album until days later.
I feel like a frog living in the well.
Pathetic, sad life.

Heard his new album.
Disappointed i will say.
It just doesnt feel Jay anymore because of the change in style.
It just doesnt seem to touch the heart that easily anymore?
It sickening that the outside world has caused this changed.
I want the old Jay back.
and i still think葉惠美is the best album so far.
=(

But nonetheless,
i still heart JAY!!

插曲 #274

2010-05-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

Well, sis has beeen struggling with this thing for quite some time,
and although i really wish i could help my sis share some burden,
unfortunately, this is PURE CHIMALOGY.
So, all i can do is to give him my moral support.
JIAYOU SIS! hang in there, you are almost there!
Dun worry, you are different from me,
So you sure can make it one!!
haha!!
=)

插曲 #273

2010-05-01T23:57:00.004+08:00

What can i say except for:
"Just give me a break!"

Nothing has been going well for me recently.
And i am seriously sick of all these shit!

KARMA?
I guesss so too.
my bad temper seriously is the main culprit.

Yes,
I know i have changed,
and i am sick of this changed me.

Give me ME back!
I want the old Sam back!
and the letter i am waiting for..

trying trying trying in progress.
=(

;they say escaping isnt the solution to the problem.
but what else can i do except to escape?
=(

插曲 #272

2010-04-22T09:12:00.003+08:00

Say i am sad.
Yes i am super sad.
There's polka dots inside my phone!
kill me!
=(

插曲 #271

2010-04-15T23:56:00.002+08:00

The news came and we were separated.
You can't imagine how i felt.
So terrible that i actually cried.
Life alone isnt nice, not even a tinny winny bit.
i do miss them, a lot.
=(

i wish everything will go back to the same again.
but i know,
i am just being naive..

another thing,
jay's concert tickets are all sold out.

2 humongous blow,
no, let's make it 3.
Emo kid i shall be.

插曲 #270

2010-04-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

Have been too tired to blog.
Think it's because of the super lack of sleep.

Realized that time is running out,
but yet,
i have so much thing undone.
=(

E-trial is like next week,
and i havent studied for it.

And you cant imagine the stress i am under.
Plus, i am waiting impatiently for my uni letter.
(i really hope it comes soon)

Maybe what they said is true,
keeping a distance might be better for the both of us,
at least for the time being,
even though i am struggling so hard.

插曲 #269

2010-04-05T17:30:00.003+08:00

It's half an hour till we end work,
but i still have tuition later.
=X

Finally, like finally, i booked my btt date.
and hopefully i can set my arse down to study for it.
O well.
I still have one month to prepare for it.

I have so much things i wanna buy.
Cant wait for GSS to come!
I haven't done my pedicure yet though.

Realized how fat i have became recently,
Those flabby arms and thighs,
Really time to tone them up!
Shall move around more often for a start.
CYCLING!

Some people are receiving letters from unis regarding their application already,
and this is totally freaking me out!
I dun ask for much,
just let me have a place in uni.
i will be contented.

Work wise, it's like WEEHEE!
April's Fool this year isnt one for me!
Mahaha,and i am darn happy about it (although so many days have passed).
Although i dread doing CHS report!
Btw eunice,
i wont abandon you, i promise.
=)

Mid years are coming!
When CA1 has just ended only.
Imagine the stress man!

And since my dark circles are getting darker,
making me look like a panda (fat with dark circles),
I have decided to sleep before 11pm everyday.
At least for this week!

This is definitely a random post.
But aren't I always this random?

插曲 #268

2010-03-31T23:43:00.003+08:00

i feel like the following:

a girl with major mood swings.
gets irritated easily,
and snaps like a rubber band

i bite and chew like tazmanian devil.

no one can stop me,
not even myself.

damn it.
but forgive me.

插曲 #267

2010-03-30T19:52:00.003+08:00

I guess today isnt a good day.
somehow, i feel that something isnt right.
not sure whether it's because i am sick,
or is it because the day is nearing.
i just feel empty inside, like a piece of me is missing.

painted my toenail blue,
and today's the last episode of temptation of wife.

; i wish you were here by me side,
but i dunno which you is it..

插曲 #266

2010-03-21T22:21:00.005+08:00

Thought i could end my weekends on a nice note,
but some people just had to spoil it.
I am not pissed,just annoyed i guess,
but who wouldn't be?

Nvm if you choose to eavesdrop on my conversation,
since i was the stupid one not to walk aside to talk,
(but they will still have lots of comments if i walk away)
But can't you just leave my personal life alone?

A person that knows me for only 2 months shows more concern than you all do.
Can't we be friends?
Who are you to judge him?

Really,
you people really have no idea who the real me is.
and the things i did because of you..

just let me go..please.

插曲 #265

2010-03-16T09:11:00.002+08:00

Here to blog about my interesting weekends.

Went kite-flying with eunice on friday!
I think it was the first time i flew a kite for my almost 19 years of life.
Sadly,the doraemon kite we bought from i-de didnt manage to soar up into the skies,
but that cute penguin kite had a great time in the skies( i guess).
Haha!
Kite flying isnt something easy i would say,tiring too.
But the fun i had was more than enough to keep me happy.
=)

Went NTU open house on sat,
and it really make me damn determined to enter ntu chinese.
(But,i am kind of freaking out because a lot of people gonna apply for it too. =x
So i am keeping my fingers cross)
Then,anne's cousin brought us to the school of ADM,
and the dark room was totally COOL!
Esp,the teleporting(something like that) thing!
And i am really tempted to learn photography luh.
Only thing that wasnt so pleasant was my mood swing cause i was too tired.
=(

NUS open house on Sun,along with anne,kenneth and his friend anthony.
Weird combi i would say,but it turn out to be awesome!
I didnt know Kenneth was such a funny guy until sunday,
and yea,i changed my impression of him.
=)

Went MOF for lunch,
and this is really the climax of our day.
Waited 1 hour for my food,with lots of screw ups in between.
They actually served the wrong food twice luh,
and claimed that my food was served when i went to complain with anthony.
(He damn on and zai de la!)
LIKE @#^%@$^@!
Served when my poor little stomach was growling like crazy?
Demanded to speak to the manager and guess what,
Managers off on sundays,
and they actually asked me to WRITE FEEDBACK FORM!!!
Wa, i was fuming like crazy already la!!
Anthony asked them to call the manager,
who kup-ped my call because she was in the underground tunnel in the MRT.
Wa, @%#^$*#&^%$#&, i started to kpkb,
and in the end,she said she will void my order and serve my food.
Ok,the thing was I cant really understand what they were saying because being foreigners(I dun look down on them btw),
their english isnt that proficent and speaking softly with that accent doesnt help at all luh.
We only heard "orders" and "reciept",
so i told them we had 4 orders and passed all the reciepts to them.
And FREE LUNCH FOR ALL 4 OF US !!!
With an addition bento thrown in because they forgot they served that already.
Treat it as a compensation for Kenneth who had to eat grain by grain,
Anne who had to eat so slowly and ended up being hungry,
and Anthony who didnt know where his food had digested to already.
But the expressions on our faces was damn funny la,
and kenneth just kept laughing non-stop when we were all trying to be discreet!
And the funniest thing was, we ended up standing in front of starbucks laughing at the whole incident
(I really think the passer-bys must be thinking that all 4 of us are crazy luh! Laughing oin the middle of nowhere.)
Wa,that day was really damn memorable man!
And anne was saying that I am the jinx of MOF cause whenever i go MOF eat,
sure got problem one.
So next time wanna eat free lunch must call me and anthony the free stuff attractor.
HAHAHA!
And Anthony said he can teach me guitar which i dunno when i will see him again lorz
and both anne and kenneth make me so tempted to pick up cello again luh!

Yesterday was just like any other normal weekday,
work in the morning,tuition at night.
I could have gotten my hands on green tea ice cream too,
but decided to be nice for fear that terence might just lose his way in NTUC(haha!!!),
and that cold stuff might make my hyperventilation WORSE
(Dun understand why i have been hyperventilating again recently)
But my YEO's green tea was enough to make me happy
=)
And terence was telling me how his mum didnt believe that i got ABCDE for a levels.
But no choice, i very zai de ma!
Haha!!

As for today,
Eunice isnt at work today so i am all alone.
=(
And well, we will see how things go ba..
(Always look on the bright side of life!)
=)

插曲 #264

2010-03-12T10:09:00.002+08:00

Dinner with girls last night was great!
I missed them so much.
Just that the service at pizza hut was toot toot and more toot.
I AM SO NOT GONNA EAT THERE AGAIN!
To think i had to pay service charge for such service!
Really had the urge to just walk out of the restaurant luh!
Still like white tangerine better cause the service is much better even though i always say it's bad.

Actually i am not sure whether the service is bad or is it me being fussy,
since i wasnt in a fantastic mood yesterday.
But having worked in the service industry before,
this is certainly not acceptable.
Argh,
dun wanna talk about it anymore!

(random)
But i really love my girls!
x3333333

插曲 #263

2010-03-08T22:45:00.002+08:00

i just feel lousy.
i dun understand why i have to keep reminding you of your past and hurting you.
i dun blame you for saying those words to me.
i could hear you tremble,
i could feel the pain you felt.
i just hate myself for hurting you again and again.
i am an idiot with super low eq.
sorry, but i cant help but wanna apologize.

to mr wtp;
thanks for helping me let go of the past.
(my haircut shows it all.)
you really are important in my life now.
but i know this is the furthest we can go,
and hopefully you can let go of the past too.
qing ai de! love you!

插曲 #262

2010-03-07T22:06:00.005+08:00

something just isn't right today.

got this fucking depressed feeling.

i think i am freaking out.

suddenly afraid that i wont even be able to get a place in uni.

i think i ate something wrong.

something had triggered my hyperventilation,

well, breathing difficulty.

minutes not done well,

agenda is no better.

ARGH! I DUNNO LA!

FUCK THIS FEELING!!

DAMN!

@$%^&^$#@

插曲 #261

2010-03-06T00:32:00.005+08:00

D-DAY.
not fantastic,but at least i did my best.
cried when i saw my results (I think it's the coolest; ABCDE),
but decided that getting into the 87% was good enough.
maybe i am fated to chinese afterall.
dun really wanna think about it anymore,
but i still have to choose my courses.

cut my hair today,
and it was horrendous.
i look fugly ttm now!
feel like going for hair extension.
=(

i need my retail therapy!

插曲 #260

2010-03-02T08:49:00.003+08:00

I kind of miss xiaodi now.
dunno why so random also.

ps.dear,can we go out with xiaodi soon?

&
WHY MUST WE TAKE 'A' LEVEL,
AND GO THROUGH THE AGONY OF GETTING THE RESULTS?!

插曲 #259

2010-02-28T23:00:00.003+08:00

All this can't be true right?
i dun even know what you are thinking.
i dun even know which words you said are true.
Adding on to that,
you are a gemini,
a monfort gemini!

On the other hand,
THANKS SIS X10000000000000!!!
thanks for helping me figure out my ringtone,
and getting it done using the garbagebin(hahaha!)
and not forgetting your professionalism!
=)

ps.hope you dun mind sharing post.haha!

插曲 #258

2010-02-26T23:30:00.003+08:00

My panda got kidnapped in cambodia,
and a joker came back to play a cruel joke on me.
I waited for panda to come back,
but now i finally know that he will never return.
So,i guess it's time to say :
Goodbye.

Why must you be 4 years younger than me?
Why must you be from Monfort?
Why must you be my student?
-blocked-
Argh.

If doing SOP is OMG,
wait till you do finance SOP.
That is Woolala!

插曲 #257

2010-02-23T23:31:00.006+08:00

me is sad now.
-blocked-

me is tired already.
me want go sleep.
me say goodnight.

; edited on 24 Feb 2010 @ 11.18am
Argh!
i knew it!
i can't believe he did it again!
i am so gonna kill him!
Roar!!!

插曲 #256

2010-02-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

CNY!
That's what most kids look forward too,
and since i am out of the catergory,
i doubt i am one of them.
and this year's CNY was really the "cream of the crop"

Reunion dinner was eaten at Malaysia.
1st time not eating steamboat for reunion dinner.
BLEH!
And sleeping on a matress that is so thin,
machiam sleeping on the floor.
All in all,
it was a horrible experience!
Esp when there are irritating people around.

But oh wells,
looking forward to going anne's house to bai nian tomorrow.
and really have the sudden urge to go shopping.

and did i forget to mention,
my face looks like a super big round cake now!
ARGH!

插曲 #255

2010-02-12T09:58:00.005+08:00

I am pissed.
Talk to me about efficiency.
And some blur sotong.
Argh.

And i think i broke my jaw!
Damn it!
Hurts like @#%&#&*%@.

;
When you hit a rock before you got married:
Boyfriend: (scolds the rock) Why you come hit my girlfriend?

When you hit a rock after you got married for quite some time:
Husband: Tsk! You blind ah? Cannnot see the rock there meh??

LOL!

插曲 #254

2010-02-05T09:01:00.002+08:00

Eunice isn't at work today,
and it means no going to the toilet for me,
because i am not a risk-taker.
=X

And i forgot my earpiece,
what a great thing to start my day..

To my dear yuqi,
i love you x333
he's not worth all those shit you are going through right now.

I miss the feeling of my fingers on those strings,
and seeing chinese words on my blog..

插曲 #253

2010-02-02T16:35:00.002+08:00

At work now.
But i am as bored as usual.

Not trying to say that this job is not good.
But it's not challenging enough?
Ok,our bosses are too busy to give us work luh!
And staying in the office is really not my cup of tea.
I need to move around.

If only i wasn't on a contract,
I would have taken up the damn relief teaching job.
At least I won't get bored to death,
cause it might be a challenge for me to not murder any students.
ARGH!!

Bored.
BORED.
BORED.
BORED.
BORED.
BORED.
BORED.

插曲 #252

2010-02-01T12:17:00.007+08:00

Blogging in the office for the 1st time.

Actually i have stuff to do,
but i just dun have the mood to do it now.
My stomach needs to be filled.

Work,frankly isn't that interesting.
Can feel my ass getting bigger by the day cause i practically just sit in the office the whole day.
Going to the toilet is OMG.
You really should come experience it yourself man!
Just like going on a mission!~

Office politcs can be felt here,
Hopefully me and eunice(the other temp girl) won't get involved!
Anyway,
i just realized that my hyperventilation is not caused by excess CO2,
but by methane instead!
LOL,inside joke!

Anyway,
went sengkang gym on friday.
weights was good,
cardio wasn't that pleasant.
Maybe i should switch to different gyms for different purposes.
but i think i really should make some arrangement for gym-ing.
=)

Youth dialogue session on sat.
Overall response was way better than we expected.
But the clearing up wasn't that great.
That stupid chair was damn heavy luh!
And that macdonalds look alike kind of table,
Worse than going to the gym.
=(

Planning on a Pulau Ubin trip for team-bonding.
Waiting for big boss to give the go ahead on the dates,
which should be no porblem ba,I guess.
And veg's really very ON!
Movie,Recce and heritage tour!!
haha!

OH DANG SHIT!
I forgot about minutes!

; having this confused feeling.
i really dunno what's on ___'s mind.
i really cherish this friendship a lot.
=(

and that FUCKING disgusting person is back again!
FUCK MAN!
I swear i am going to the police to report him for harassing if he fucking calls again!
Damn it!
The thought of it just gives me the creeps!
SHIT THAT BASTARD!

插曲 #251

2010-01-28T00:06:00.003+08:00

What are friends for?
Actually,i doubt i can give the answer to it.
Everyone is drifting apart,
even those whom i hold dear to me.

I had always thought that i would be able to rely on them,
so heck care if i only have a handful of friends,
cause they are all i need.
But it seems like..

it's just not the same anymore.

Disappointed?
Yes,I am.
But who can i blame?
I was the naive one.

Too much things have happened recently,
i have already lost the ability to stop and think.
I kept telling myself that things will get better,
but is god really that nice?
at least,i dun see it that way.
not to me at least.

what else can i do?
except to keep moving on?
maybe i will just shut myself up on the way.
cause i am too tired of tears and disappointment.

maybe one day,i won't be me anymore.

;thought i saw you today.
that someone was holding on to someone.
i felt my heart skip a beat,
i thought i forgot how to breathe.

If that was really you,
i think,
i would have died on the spot.

插曲 #250

2010-01-15T00:37:00.003+08:00

realized i have been doing late night bloggings recently.
anyway,i not am even sure whether i will still have time to blog from next week onwards.
=X

just an update of life.
been jobhunting,and i have finally fouund a decent paying job.
but i wished i have asked yonghin or david earlier.
cause they got lots of lobangs and i wouldn't have to go through so much trouble.

about my job:
good pay.checked.
5 days week.checked.
office working hours.checked.
normal working environment. blank.
acutally i am gonna work in some welfare home but hopefully,
everything will be fine which i believe will be.
i just have to get through this 3 months.
jiayou to myself!
=)

admin job in the day,
tuition at night.
part time jobs during the weekends.
i am such a money grabber!
work like free!
but oh well, at least i would have time for gym?
hopefully.
and not forgetting the events that are coming up.
like OMG.

went shopping at bugis for the past 2 days.
and bought 2 tops yesterday,
which included 1 hoodie tee *so happy!*
plus a pair of red pumps/mary jane @ 9.90!
i really like the design cause it's cute!.
but i wonder when will be the next time i can go shopping again.
and i still wanna get my shoes..

acutally,i really dunno what's my real purpose for making myself so busy.
to earn money,
or just to keep myself busy.
i choose to belive it's the former but apparently,
it seems to be the latter.
i just can't forget things easily right?
getting things out of my mind,
or should i say getting you out of my mind seems impossible,
or maybe forgetting things i hold dear to me aren't my forte?
well,i dunno.
i admit,i am confused and i do still miss you a lot even though you have been gone for so long and living a life of your own now.

i guess i just need more time,
so my new year resolution,
to forget you doesn't sound that bad right?
nonetheless, i will forget you one day.
i will.

WOW!
haven't typed such a long post for so long already.
and i just hope i can stop crying and getting frustrated so easily already.
dimenticato? i just can't...

buaizz people..

插曲 #249

2010-01-10T00:19:00.002+08:00

kind of miss the life of a bee,
cause i am practically wasting my life now.
aimless,meaningless,lifeless.

i can't believe i am struggling with powerpoint,
not on the skills,but on how to present it.
Geez!
everything is in a mess and guess what,
it's due on monday!

BOOHOO!
=(
gonna miss the meeting again................

插曲 #248

2010-01-07T00:01:00.002+08:00

What am i doing here?
i dunno too.
insomnia i guess.

Maybe that explains why i am putting on the pounds?
Argh,super frustrated.
Esp when i look myself in the mirror.

motivation is much needed.
i miss gym but i can't seem to drag myself there anymore.
and temptation of wife is so tempting.
=(

Total failure!
Sucker in life!

6 days have passed or to be exact,7.
And xiaodi has gone to NS *BOOHOO=(*
but,
Belated Happy New Year by the way.
May 2010 be a better year!
for me,at least.

插曲 #247

2009-12-30T00:18:00.003+08:00

hate itunes.
cause it's the dumbest music player ever!
damn not user-friendly!

hate windows 7.
cause it's lagging my system!
damn lousy!

ROAR!

插曲 #246

2009-12-27T23:57:00.003+08:00

i need a real break,
hide somewhere where no one can find me.
scream my lungs out,
and cry my eyes out,
and hoping that everything will then turn out to be fine again.
i will be strong again.

tired.
i hate myself for my idiotic mood swings,
and for for being such a loser;sucker!
=(

Please,
tell me what to do.
i just wanna move on.
=(

;that game with 10 person chasing an orange ball..

插曲 #245

2009-12-23T21:26:00.003+08:00

ME LOVE ALL OF THEM!!
the baking was tiring,
but i am still happy because of their smiles.
They made me feel that everything was worthwhile!!

No matter what,
i won't forget them.
And hopefully they won't forget me like how they didn't today.
=)

插曲 #244

2009-12-15T18:58:00.002+08:00

Why can't monfort people just stay out of my life?
I mean,why can't they stop screwing up my life?
I know the white sheeps are innocent,
and i shouldn't @%#^$&%$&@ them because of the few bloody black sheeps,
But still,
DAMN IT!!!

Ya,monfort is so special,
they study different syllabus,they use different textbooks.
Like whatever,
Monfort isn't Raffles for goodness sake!
RUBBISH LUH!!

Why dun you just say Monfort doesn't take cambridge examinations,
they take examinations from the university of monfort instead!!
Best still,
they have IP programme and once they enter Monfront Junior,
they will be entitled a place in Monfort University!!

Isn't Monfort just so great?
even better than Raffles luh!

DAMN IT!!
@#!@%#^*#^$^#%$#&$%#$#%&$#*@

PS. Sorry to those( monfort white sheeps) who feel offended by my ranting.
but i just to get things out of my chest.
Blame it on the black sheeps if you want,
because I DUN MIND!!

插曲 #243

2009-12-13T23:50:00.004+08:00

Baby's back,
and mummy's happy again.
finally =)

Lots of things were going on for the days i was gone from blogger..
twilight movie marathon,sleep-over and all..
my cookie baking idea for my aunties at NTUC..(can't wait to see them again!)
and currently chewing on breaking dawn..

am supposed to upload pics..
yes,i am guilty esp after seeing how fast vic and anne are..
but baby was down..
can't blame me for not risking to crash the only laptop also desktop around right?
HEHE!
but they will be up soon..
as soon as i reticify the problem with baby..
PROMISE! *crossing my fingers*

and i will be back soon,
cause i am out of brain juice..
haha!

bye but see ya soon!
=)

插曲 #242

2009-12-05T23:49:00.002+08:00

Baby's dead again.
and mummy misses her damn a lot!

freaking sad now.
bye everyone.
won't be back soon.
at least until baby gets home in i dunno when......
=(

插曲 #241

2009-11-29T14:51:00.004+08:00

I know i have been gone for quite long.....
but i am still pretty lazy to blog.
Will blog and upload everything altogether when i am not lazy!
Haha!

anyway, saw something which i really liked.
reminds me for ichigo's shinigama robe!
Damn cool!
but it cost $79.00!
$#^$@&*$@#@^$

插曲 #241

2009-11-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

Had a rather stupid dream last night..
Dreamt that we got back A levels result for history..
The thing is we got to see the paper and guess what..
The paper was not marked by some wise old man in cambridge but by MR S instead!
Super LOL!

What the hell am i thinking?
But it's supposed to be a nightmare..
Nope..not because Mr S is scary..
but it was because my result was horrible..

OMG!
i seriously hope this is not true luh!
*Keeping my fingers crossed!*

and why are the good guys either ghosts or robot?
and i seriously need a job!

LOL!
pure randoomness..................

插曲 #240

2009-11-12T23:36:00.002+08:00

weehee!
damn excited cause i am left with econs only..
well..not excited bout the paper and the results though..
=X

anyway..
i found my long lost inspirations again!
it's really amazing cause it came back to me when i was studying history..
LOL!

can't wait for a's to end..
and i can get on with it again..
=)

but why can't i copy paste?!
bleh!

插曲 #239

2009-11-04T22:47:00.005+08:00

people change.
agree?

but is it you who is changing,
or is it me?
or is it just time proves everything?

normally,
we push the blame.

but are we really pushing the blame?
am 'i' really the one changing instead?

插曲 #238

2009-11-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

you don't call yourself a genius when:
you can't solve your psle math problem..
you are not graduating from some top university at the age of 12 like some REAL GENIUS do..

so pleasse dun be sooooo thick skinned..
cause you aren't a genius unless you are albert einstein or thomas edison..
thank you.

插曲 #237

2009-10-10T23:31:00.007+08:00

Just a quick update and upload of pics before i go into hibernation..
Hopefully will be able to hibernate till the end of A's..
But given my character..
Oh well..i will be back..i think..
=X

Anyway..
these are pictures taken the other day when i went out with meifang and dear..
not a lot..but still better than nothing..xp

Astons @ serangoon gardens..
Love the fish and potato salad..*thumbs up up up*

meifang and the 10kg royal umbrella..
my sandals that arrived that morning..^^

Coffee Bean @ AMK hub..

which i kindda went there unwillingly..=(

looking at the mooncakes downstairs..

WE just didn't want to look at the cam..??

Coffee Face..

i look ugly..ok..i am ugly..=X

Yada yada yada..
prelims results all back already..
rather satisfactory except for that stupid econs..
BOOHOO!
hopefully will be able to do better for A's..
NO..I MUST DO BETTER FOR A'S!!
that's why i am going into hibernation..
=X

3 more weeks to A's..
OMG...feel so unprepared..
Argh..why can't A's start a bit later..??!!!

Ok..that's enough gumbles for now..
see you guys soon which i really hope it will be after A's..
that's if i am determined enough though..

插曲 #236

2009-10-04T23:10:00.003+08:00

Saw the news..only to know about the "arrival" of more and more natural disasters..
from earthquakes to tsunamis to typhoons..
who know's what will be next..??

Many lives are lost..with many more griefing about the loss of their loved ones..
Survivours are left homeless..with no food and water..
and not forgetting the diseases that will hit them soon..

For those who have not been affected YET..
they have been evacuated from their homes..
maybe that would be the last time they will see their homes..
and imagine the fear that one has to go through when you are aware of the mass destruction you are gonna face when disaster strucks..
that feeling....i doubt i would want to experience it..

As for us..
living in a safe and "disaster-free" country like Singapore
which many are obviously still not happy about..
Just look around you..the turmoil that others are going through..
Shouldn't we be grateful with the things that we have..
At least we do not need to worry about natural disasters hitting us right..??
Can you imagine Singapore being hit by an earthquake..??
I guess..the picture would be rather clear..
I am grateful now..really..i am.

Climatologist have said that the world has been facing increasing numbers of natural disasters..
Why..??
Because of what we humans have done..
We have made mother earth sick..
But we are not stopping what we are doing..
Maybe we can't..but can we slow down..??
Ok..maybe to be fair..
Many countries have been trying to save gaia..
but what about Singapore..??
What about us..??
We have been blessed to be living in this country..
Yet..we are contributing to the destruction of earth..
I am guilty..but i will try to do my little part..

Oh my..i seriously sound like some environmentalist trying to promote recycling..
but..that wasn't really my agenda..
i just wanted to highlight what is going on around the world..
around us..
and i sincerely thank god for what he has blessed me with..
[not some religon promoter too ok..?]

But..let's just learn to be grateful for the things we have...
and cherish..
because it may actually be a luxury to others..
and i really hope this will be the end of the disasters..

插曲 #235

2009-09-26T23:48:00.001+08:00

Guys.
Are all the same.
Aren't they?

damn it.

插曲 #234

2009-09-24T23:27:00.006+08:00

Weeheee~
I am back again after so long..
O crap..i forgot..
no one cares anyway..
=(

But whatever..
what matters is myself..
and i believe there are still people out there who would be interested..
haha..*BHB-ing*
=p

Ok..some updates..
Prelims are over and i dun even wanna think about it..
screwed my econs and well..i can't say for the rest..=X
anyway..currently a slacker when A's is like around 39 days away...
and quite obesessed with 唐心风暴..
LOL
and of course trying to figure out how to spell "obesessed" correctly..
zZz =.=

Ok..some pictures to brighten up..
Went to watch rashomon --"罗生门"..
ok..not that long but it's still considered long..
but yea..
corine and me..

XINNRRONGGG..who had a bad flu that day..

when waiting for man to turn red..*OPPS*..GREEN..!!

cross when red..take pictures when green..??

mahaha..xp

i love blurry effects..

Sam and ting ting..with sam's rather weird smile..

i call it spastic..??

and corine with bibi's 不敢见人face..and of course ting ting's back..

Ok..here are suggestions to kill your boredom..

when you are studying..

1) Writing on tissue..

It's free but please stick to one cause:

"SAVE THE EARTH.!!"

my CUTE toes..=s

垂死挣扎-ing..with none other than ECONS..

my mahjong kakis..??

Nope..my study kakis to be exact..
佳丽#1: Miss Corine Shi..

First rather unglam phot i have..LOL

and seldom study with her actually..

hahaha..

佳丽#2: Miss Abbxy(the x is silent) Ang BIBI..

LOl..look at her "i wanna die already" expression..
xp

And of course..how did you think i got these photos..??

From the paparazzis.??

The best way to kill boredom...

Take more photos..

Ok..i am being lame here..

but o well..that's who i am righto..??

Meeting meifang and dear this coming monday..

SO HAPPY..=D

and missy talked about meeting up with vic and guys after prelims too..

ME LOVE GIRLFRIENDS..

MUACKS..^^

Lol..pure random-ness..

and my knee is hurting again..!!

haiz..真的老了..

插曲 #233

2009-09-01T23:11:00.004+08:00

I know i shouldn't be blogging so frequently..
at least right now..
i should be working on my 2 GP essay which appparently is due for tomorrow's consultation..
studying history which will be essential for tomorrow's consultation..
But o well..

With stress piling up..this dodo bird..
Yes..i am a dodo bird that hides her head all the time..
Esp when she sees stress..!!!
So being stressed up right now..
She starts saying cum doing random thing..
like how this random post came about..
Then her heads goes blanks.
*POOF* blank.
=(

then she worries on the stupid dates that are creeping closer and closer..
and not forgetting her loud ticking watch that ticks every single second away without her forgetting..
then you see her small little eyes go horribily BIG..
and screams "OMG" follow by "die liao" from her mouth..
then you see her regret how she wastes her tme away..
When she still has her hands and eyes on the TV and keyboard..
haiz..=(

yada yada..
then she starts planning what to do..
and will find them all going down the drain cause she practically doesn't follows it..
she spends more time stoning instead..
that's why she is still not done with her consultation stuff..
haiz..=(

Seriously..
can someone please tell me WHAT I CAN DO..???
so that i can stop degressing and get on with work...??

Oh no..=(
I AM SO DEAD..!!!!
=(

forget it..
shall just stop whining and get on with work..
HOPEFULLY.

插曲 #232

2009-08-31T23:38:00.002+08:00

Reminded of a very very very anicent email joke..
so thought of sharing it to relieve some stress..
haha..=)

So here we go..

Q: How Many Raffles JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 0.0000001. Each student is too busy topping the A Levels, sports, performing arts and partying at the same time

Q: How Many HwaChong JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school, to compete with RJ

Q: How Many Victoria JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.. one to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support

Q: How Many National JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: NO LIGHT STILL CAN STUDY!!!

Q: How Many Anderson JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the Top 5 JCs

Q: How Many Anglo-Chinese JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.. they use all their money to employ Yishun JC to do it for them

Q: How Many Yishun JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None... only one teacher to tell them what a lightbulb is in the first place and to demonstrate (how do you think they're able to change it for Anglo-Chinese JC?)

Q: How Many Catholic JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They prefer it darker *raise eyebrows*

Q: How Many Jurong JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.. their Physics is so bad their male teachers cry...

Q: How Many Tampines JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: would they bother??

Q: How Many Meridian JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They're too busy keeping themselves from being retained

Q: How Many Saint Andrew's JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They believe in praying for it

Q: How Many Nanyang JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:None. They're still using oil lamps.

Q: How Many Serangoon JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Huh, wat lighttbarb?

Q: How Many Innova JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: School too new, no electricity yet

Q: How Many Pioneer JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Heck care about that- lets all do 300 jumping jacks as punishment for improper attire

Q: How Many Temasek JC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:None. They think they are very bright already

Q: Dont you guys wonder who wrote this list?
A: Temasek JC

---
Well..this is just a joke..
so just laugh and forget about it luh..
since it has been around like donkey years ago..
And dun come after me horz..
cause i am not the writer afterall..
haha..=p

AND,
Seriously..NANYNG ISN'T USING OIL LAMPS LUH..!!
dun understand why people like to say us cheena and LKK just because our name sounds cheena and we provide CLEP..
*ROARS*

插曲 #232

2009-08-28T23:48:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORINE SHI. AKA STONE AKA 傻大姐..!!!
The girl that 让我又爱又恨。。
YOU ARE FINALLY 18 AND LEGAL..
Although i know you have been doing illegal things all this while..
hahaha..xp

Yada yada..let's turn back into time and see what happened this 2 years..
it all started in LEP camp but somehow i can't find a single pic.
dun ask me why..

So let's fast forward to the days we slept together on the same bed..
and the days we bathe together..
*OMG..did i just spill the beans..??*
No la..just kidding..i am perfectly STRAIGHT..!!

The place with lots of flies..=X

You finally found your long lost relative.... *GRINS*

The day we were gonna leave taiwan..

The day you found your prince(s)..
[暗喻-ing]

Hard at work..

Busy copying math..!!!

Sin加pore flyer..when you still had bangs..

although you have a different kind of bangs now..

I really dunno what you were trying to do with this pose..

hmmmm..

SO..TOUCHED..???

well..shall give you some reasons why you should be..

#1] I chiong-ed to make this dedication on time..

#2] I seldom dedicate such long bday post..

#3] I blogged because of your bday..

#4] I had a hard time deciding on the pics..

#5] Uploading pics was such a longgggggg tiringggg processs...........

#6] No unglam pics of you..

#7] My lappy baby very lagggggg................

#8] My eyes are closing..

#9] I DIDN'T FORGET THAT IT IS YOUR BDAY TODAY..!!!

Muahaha..ok..enough of my crap.

Hope you enjoyed this special day of yours..

and not forgetting this post..

LOVE YA..

插曲 #231

2009-08-18T23:26:00.003+08:00

i dunno why..
but i have been thinking about you again..
maybe it's supposed to be always..
i tried to forget you..
i tried to hate you..
i tried to let you go..
but somehow..i just can't..
so many months have passsed..
but it's still like it was yesterday..

i cried till i no longer could..
i thought i was stronger..
i thought i had forgotten..
only to realize that i was just fooling myself..

i tried to numb myself with books..
trying to concentrate with my studies..
trying to excel in them which seems to be impossible..
i tried to empty you out of my mind..
but still your shadow is still there..
always there..and never gone..

i tried tiring out myself with gym.
hoping that i could go to sleep easily..
but i was wrong..
totally wrong..like wtf.
because i can't stop thinking about you..
even though i forced myself not to..

i tried to hold back my tears..
only to realize that even the smallest things now could make me cry..
maybe it was a chance for me to justify my crying..
i tried to laugh even at the smallest thing..
trying to be happy-go-lucky..
only to realize that the smile..
Was it even real..??
even i myself..dun even know..

Dreams..
they never included you..
really..i tried so hard to forget you..
tried so hard that you didn't even appear in my dreams..
but yet..you were never gone..
deep down in my heart..
that special place of yours..

regrets.
but they are now too late..
i really regretted not cherishing those moment together..
but i know i will never regret loving you..

;did you regret,
ever standing by my side?

did you regret,
ever holding my hand?

time will heal..
maybe 1 month..maybe 1 year..maybe 10 years..
who knows..
but i will get over you eventually..right..??
i dunno..whether i really want to..

i lost count of the tears i cried..
i lost count of the times i missed you..
i lost count of the times i wanted to tell you..
i love you.

;but somewhere we went wrong,
we were once so strong.

our love is like a song,
but you won't sing along.

you've forgotten,
about us.

插曲 #230

2009-08-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

i just realized..
how much i miss you..

Aitai.
x333

插曲 #229

2009-08-15T23:27:00.001+08:00

i seriously think i am too bitchy at times..
haiz..
i think i have really gone overboard le..
haiz..
=(

sorry.

插曲 #228

2009-08-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

X333 西島隆弘 Nishijima Takahiro.
Omg..his smile is melting me..
But his cast pictures from" Ghost Friends" is better..
I WANT...!!!
=)

National Day today..
Happy Birthday Singapore..
&
Happy Brthday Rose..
=)

Woke up early for observance ceremony..
and went to ARK for teambonding..
wall climbing &
TRUST FALL..!!
Bgm meeting and blah blah blah..
joining PLK YEC is not a bad decision afterall..
though it will take up much of my time..
=X
BUT NVM..cause i can see FUN..!!
haha..

have been slacking for the past few days..
This is so not good..
Have to force myself to stay focused or i won't be able to get through...
And there are 2 tests oncoming this..
OMG MATH and OMG HISTORY..!!
still struggling between RF and GB..
haiz..=(

so stressed.
gyming tomorrow before meeting for mugging..
i think i will go cupping instead..
*OK..not funny =.=*

off to do flying fox after digressing for so long..
i uselessly succumb to temptations.
=(

插曲 #227

2009-08-01T23:11:00.004+08:00

frustrated.

插曲 #226

2009-07-29T23:55:00.003+08:00

confused.
lost.
for i dunno what reason.
am i just thinking too much..??

maybe i am just feeling empty.
and decided to do something stupid to fill up the emptiness.
which turned out to be hte wrong decision.
seriously.

Oh god.
=X

兜了一大圈，
你从来没离开过我心里。。
没有一天不想着你。。
也没有人能取代你。。
傻。?
就让我傻下去吧。。

插曲 #225

2009-07-28T23:11:00.001+08:00

it broke.
i thought all was lost,
but when i was about to give up,
i managed to fix it.

what does it mean..??
heaven's will..??

dream on!

插曲 #224

2009-07-27T23:16:00.004+08:00

ok..i am supposed to be writeing my SGC but here i am blogging..
without typng a single word that that entry..
=.=

anyway..
THANKS CORINE LOVE FOR THAT POST..
although i really dunno how you got those unglam photos..
many many of them to be exact..
OMG..!!
but i still love you..
haha..=p

went out with meifang yesterday..
eat eat talk talk walk walk shop shop..
so fun luh..!!
thanks for pei-ing me..
you should see how i screamed at the chincillas..
ok..not scream at them..
but start screaming when they start moving on my hands..
ANIMALS not matter how cute or small they are..
i am still scared of them..LOL..
but i really dun mind pei-ing meifang go see..
cause she really love them a lot..
haha..
=)

and horz..got some heartless creep horz.
actually forgot what day it was lorz..
you know who you are..
so dun try to deny..
HUMPHS..
to think i love you so much..
FINE..!!!
now i know the truth..T.T

today got math test.
differentiatiion..my nemesis..
and syf presentaion rehersal...

they were totally fanscinated by huang sheng's hair..
which made me rather speechless..
then we had this little chat on the bus..
and poor yong siang really needs counselling..
but i didn't know he had this side till today..
but he really is a good and responsilbe sl..
although he doesn't know how to put it in a nicer manner..

then sebastian should really relax..
although he is the one who is always asking us to relax..LOL..
cause he is damn stressed over scores and tuners..
he gives you the "stop haunting me for scores" face..
and jumps up when he hears tuner..
LOL..
my cello partner so funny..=p
but he is also a good and responsible qm..
LOL..
but then..stupid pzy..!!!

ok..i forgot what i wanna say le..
LOL..
but i hope my all wishes come true..
=)
and i wanna watch harry potter..
and maybe go to a fortune teller..

LET'S GO ON A MERRY-GO-ROUND..!!
AND HAVE AUNTIE ANNE'S CINNAMON SUGAR PRETZEL..!!
YAY..!!

i love my girlfriends..x333
SO RANDOM. =.=

does she likes him too..??

; edited @11:55PM
nothing has changed.
i am still lost in a crossroad.
i still can't figure out the things on my mind..
why is it so hard..??

maaybe i am just an idiot.

插曲 #223

2009-07-24T23:39:00.002+08:00

tired..
stressed up..
=(

so much things left..
yet so little time left..
time has outran me..
=(

i really dun feel like going practice anymore..
it's taking up too much of my time..
=(

currently in debt..
outgoing > incoming..
incoming = zero..
=(

STOP SPLURGING..!!!

插曲 #222

2009-07-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

&hearts 杏仁奶茶..!!!
♥

anda anda the aunties there still remember me..
YaY..!!
*awww *T.T
so touched..LOL..
haha..=)

gym's also nice..
but like i was telling that uncle..
school's so crazy till i can't find time to go luh..
=(
i think i have to cut down to twice a week only..
=(
but nvm..i still get to go..
hahaha..better than nothing..
LOL.

pre-prelims coming..
OMG.

LoL..so random..